You cannot reach deeper within another than you reach in your own self.
If you love yourself for your achievements, your current assets, the way you do things and handle the world -- and despise yourself for failure in the same -- it follows that your relationship with another will also be transient and superficial.
To achieve deep and lasting love of another person, you need to first experience the depth within yourself -- an inner core that doesn't change with time or events. If it is the true essence, it is an essence shared by the other person as well, and deep love becomes unavoidable.
Based on letters and talks of the Rebbe, Rabbi M. M. Schneerson 
