| My family recently celebrated the marriage of my youngest sister. The music played, the wine flowed, and we laughed, danced and cried. But there was a moment that went somewhat unnoticed. Just after the glass was shattered and mazal tovs rang out, the bride and groom spent 10 minutes in a private room–the wedding planner didn't allow them any more than that–before coming back to the hall for dinner (and more pictures, of course). Known as yichud, these moments of privacy are the most unceremonious part of the ceremony. Neither the rabbi, the parents, the caterers or even the photographers were there. According to Jewish law, it is precisely this private moment that defines them as a married couple. They are now exclusively each other's in a relationship that is theirs to forge. I'd venture to say that their pre-wedding single selves are not either invited in into the yichud room. If the holiday month of Tishrei is a wedding, Yom Kippur is the yichud room. The other holidays involve external rituals: blowing shofars, shaking lulavs. On Yom Kippur, there is just us, fasting and talking to G‑d. For 25 hours we are all alone with our spouse. Our relationship will not be defined by the caterer (maybe that is why we fast), the rabbi's speech, or the cantor's singing. We set the tone for the beginning of an intimate relationship with G‑d, where the neighbors, the angels, and even our last year's selves aren't welcome. Mazal tov and an easy fast! Baruch Shalom Davidson
Responder for the Ask the Rabbi team @ Chabad.org P.S. For times, insights and lots of great Yom Kippur info, check out our Yom Kippur minisite. |
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| Yom Kippur Essential Toolkit |
| | One page with the basic how, what, and why of the holiest day on our calendar.
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| | This confession is recited silently, and with each sin that we confess we lightly knock our chest–the domicile of the heart, the seat of our passions and impulses . . .
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| Understanding Yom Kippur |
| | Translation pitfalls: equating a Jewish idea with one drawn from another culture, when the two are in fact dissimilar.
Adapted by Rabbi Jonathan Sacks; From the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe | |
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| | When a person eats, he is nourished by the food and drink he ingests. On a fast day, vitality comes from the body itself.
Based on the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe | |
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| | You are Jonah. The Book of Jonah is the story of your life.
By Shais Taub | |
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| | Have I been wrapped in shrouds, or did I don a garment of light?
By Yaakov Paley | |
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| | We have the false illusion that when someone gives money to someone else, the giver is the big hero...
By Sara Esther Crispe | |
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| Yom Kippur: Returning to G-d |
| | After cooking with it and feeding my family, I read the ingredients, and to my horror, the sauce wasn't kosher!
By Aron Moss | |
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| | If you feel you reached us in error, this is the right place, for to err is human and to forgive is divine . . .
By Israel Rubin | |
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| | Why waste the holiest day of the year dwelling on everything you messed up?
By Tzvi Freeman | |
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| Yom Kippur: Reconciling with Our Fellows |
| | How could someone say that to me? I thought. I took cotillion as a child. I took etiquette classes in college. I was a classy lady . . .
By Samantha Barnett | |
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| | The road to reconciliation was closed, and despite calls, a letter, more calls, even visits… that was the last we spoke...
By Shimona Tzukernik | |
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| | Sometimes, the most difficult person to forgive is oneself...
By Eliezer Shemtov | |
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| Yom Kippur in Reel Time |
| | Rabbi Itche Kadoozy attempts to deliver a Rosh Hashanah message. 255 times. Dovid Taub & Jonathan Goorvich | |
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| | Are you worrying about the end zone, or steadily working toward your goal inch by inch? By Alan Veingrad | |
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| | The value of community in times of grief as well as joy. By Lazer Gurkow | |
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| Yom Kippur in Times Gone By |
| | "By the sanction of the Almighty and by the sanction of the congregation . . . We declare it permissible to pray together with those who have sinned . . ."
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| | Slowly the shelter came to life . . . but neither my two sisters nor my mother touched the food . . .
By Chana Heilbrun | |
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| | Hidden from view, he copied the prayerbook, line by line, into a notebook . . .
By Zushe Greenberg | |
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| This Week in Jewish History |
| | The honor and success that Gedaliah had won filled Ishmael with a cruel and dangerous jealousy . . .
By Nissan Mindel | |
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| | "I ask you to swear a serious oath that cannot be broken, that you will follow my request even if a human life is at stake."
By Chana Weisberg | |
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| | Rebbetzin Chana voluntarily followed her exiled and ailing husband into government-imposed exile in a remote town called "Ch'ili" in Kazakhstan. | |
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| Understanding Chassidism |
| | How do you fit an infinite G‑d into a decidedly finite world? (Third in a series on the revolution of Chassidic thought.)
By Tzvi Freeman | |
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